Christian virgin dating a non virgin
Get advice, and move forward prayerfully. Each situation is different, and each situation should be approached with prayer and consideration. Why or why not?
Should I Date a Guy Who Isn’t a Virgin?
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We may edit or remove your comment if it:. Bethany Beal 47 Comments Print. Here are a few questions I considered before I made that decision: Can I forgive and hold no bitterness toward him? Will this be a hindrance or problem for us in our relationship? I love the basic and simple advice this article has to offer: Here are a few of the questions I asked before I moved forward in my own relationship: Were you a Christian when this happened?
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How did you go about seeking forgiveness? Then, there was the let-down of having waited that long to give myself entirely to someone, and wanting her to share the experience of the wedding night as totally unique. One reason why these thoughts keep coming to mind for you is probably because you are trying to push them out of your mind without dealing with them.
Sweeping them under the rug will allow them to continue bothering you. As I see it, the solution is not to repress these thoughts but to deal with them by accepting them and lifting them up. Whenever you have these troubling thoughts, take the following steps:.
Should a Christian date or marry someone who is not a virgin? | otecekyxir.gq
Act against feelings of bitterness and hurt by thanking God for bringing her out of that lifestyle. This will help to keep resentment from infecting your relationship.
She just made some poor choices, and most likely regrets them. Remember that resentment is a choice, not just an emotion. You need to actively reject and uproot it. Instead of dwelling on her past and moping over it, lift those thoughts to God when they come to mind.
A Good Lesson
When you begin to think of her previous actions and relationships, take that as a reminder to pray for the healing of her memories and for the conversion of the men she dated. You need to realize the good that the Lord can do through it. Use your suffering to bring grace to others. This step is very important.
Dating a non-virgin
Every time a memory comes to mind, I want you to pray for her healing and for their conversions. In other words, let the pain become a prayer. Resolve to lead a pure life with her. This will infect the wound in your relationship and intensify your insecurities because it will make the thoughts of her past become more visual in your imagination. If the relationship is heading toward marriage, do not be afraid to talk to her about the struggle you are having. It is better that these issues come to the surface before marriage than within marriage.
If you do not feel ready for this, perhaps you can speak with a priest or some other counselor you respect without betraying her trust.
Should a Christian date or marry someone who is not a virgin?
However, remember that good relationships require open and honest communication. When you bring up your concerns, make sure not to blame her for the past, but rather express the fact that you want to work through this issue together. Never, ever, hold this over her or use it against her. Instead, share your insecurities, fears, or hurts, and allow her to love you. This will require some vulnerability on your part and some patience and empathy from her.
If your love is strong and forgiving, the two of you will be able to overcome this difficulty. When you do this, do not get very specific with regards to things she did with the guy s. Such information will do more harm than good. Previous intimacies of one partner often cause feelings of pain, inferiority, or resentment in the other partner. Talking through your struggle will help you to guard your heart from the poison of unforgiveness.
This will cause her to resent you. I had once heard that a young man approached St. Padre Pio in tears because his girlfriend broke up with him. It is entirely reasonable for you to feel hurt by her past. Forgiving someone is not about numbness. As a note of encouragement, I have found that over time it gets better, and that in our case, marriage has been very healing.
If you find that the issue is not improving, but is driving a wedge of resentment between you, find a marital counselor, priest, or parent to talk with. Marriage is one of the most important decisions you will ever make, and you need to surround yourself with wise counselors.